Will moving somewhere else fix you?

And is it possible to find happiness from outside of yourself after all?

They say happiness is found from within. How it doesn’t matter where you’re living or what your relationship status is. How you won’t be able to find it from outside of yourself, no matter how many people you meet or far you travel. But come on. Surely sharing your life with someone is bound to put a bigger smile on your face? The same as living somewhere with a longer summer over a miserable European winter?! Surely we should be able to seek some kind of happy from outside of us?

Living in Paris (albeit short term!) is my first time leaving the UK since I had my wake up call in Singapore. The realisation I’d spent most of my 20s and early 30s trying to find happiness in a tangible, physical form. Because that was far easier than trying to obtain this illusive, ethereal ideal of finding it from within. But no matter where I went, or who I met, how I felt inside never really changed. 

And I know I’m not alone in looking for love or happiness on the outside. To use ‘newness’ to numb out insecurities about where you ‘should’ be in life by now.

But I did finally find my joy and light and spark. I left my ‘perfect’ life in Singapore for my hometown in the UK. After moving back in with my parents and into my childhood bedroom again. So maybe they were right after all? It doesn’t really matter where you are.

But has Paris started to make me change my mind? Can you ‘find’ happiness in its physical form after all?

Or maybe old habits just die hard. Is my desire to stay in France just another Singapore or Australia or Switzerland 2.0? (Click here to see where else in the world I’ve looked for happiness.) Am I trying to seek the ‘thing’ I’m looking for by moving again? With the same blindness as to what ‘it’ actually is. I’ve been asking myself this a lot recently, worried I could be falling off the wagon. Restarting a pattern I thought I’d finally broken.

But honestly, I’m secure in my answer of ‘no’… I'm not. Yes, I adore living here and I would love to make it more permanent. But moving here will not be the answer to all my prayers and happiness answers. The same shadows still follow me the way they were in the UK. In fact, they’re louder here because without work my mind has more time for them to permeate. The same doubts about what I’m doing with my life, my future and what’s the next best step. Paris doesn't change that.

Because you can’t run away from yourself. No matter how far you try to physically go.

And I’m not saying you shouldn’t bother to travel because it can definitely still help make you happiER. The experience of living somewhere new isn’t something I think you’d ever regret. But I think it’s important to remember it’s not going to fix everything in the way you’re maybe wanting or wishing it to. How ultimately, it comes back to finding balance within yourself and the smaller things. Wherever you are in the world.

And I don’t think the goal should ever be to be happy all of the time anyway. If you don’t feel the lows then the highs aren’t as tall right?

So HOW do you find more balance within yourself?

For those that don’t know, I’m a qualified life coach. I’ve copied an old IG post below from when I was practicing, to try an explain what your 4 basic human needs are and how to try and balance your own. But ultimately, the scales are always shifting. What you need and want at certain times in your life will change. So, it’s just about making those little movements and working towards your own unique balance. 

And maybe you need to tip your scales in the direction of variety and uncertainty right now. So, making that move somewhere new might very well be the best thing for you. #youdoyou

So why do I want to still move to Paris if it doesn’t matter where I am? Because Paris is weirdly a place that feels like home for me. Even though it really shouldn’t, I mean I can barely string a sentence together in French! It's more of a feeling of calmness. Just a quiet ‘knowing’ that this is where I want to be.

I’m still unsure of the ‘how’ or the ‘when’ I’ll actually get to call it home. Maybe for now, I’ll have to settle for spending a month here or two, a few times a year. Or whatever the stupid Brexit rules permit! But I know I can still be happy in the meantime in the UK too. With my little daily routines, trying to maintain my balance and needs and let’s not forget… my beloved Jay dog is back there too. 😉