I'll be happy when ...
Weekly column #5
I think for most of us, we're generally looking forwards. ➡️
Towards achieving that ‘THING’, working towards ‘THAT’ goal. And I’m not just talking about the relationship or the happy ever after. It can be in our jobs and working towards that promotion and $alary, losing that weight, running that marathon. Once ‘THIS’ happens… then life will be good.
And if like me, you haven’t been able to nail down what’s ‘supposed’ to make you happy 🏡💍🍼 … you might think ‘THAT’ relationship is your first step to feeling happier and more content with your life.
And I’m not denying a relationship can make you happy. Of course it can! I want to find my person too. But you don’t have to wait for one until you can already BE happier. I know you don’t want to hear that. I know you really want that someone. But… I’m assuming that by being part of this community and signing up to receive this column…you at least want to TRY being happier whilst you're single.
Throw back to Bali with my ‘little’ brother in Feb 2020 and just before the world closed down! Singapore life had me in the best shape of my life on the outside but… it was a different story on the inside.
I used to be in (heavy and stubborn!) denial about a relationship being my cure to happiness. So instead of looking for love to fill my void, I ended up pursuing everything ELSE to fill it! It was also usually something I could control. Travel was one of them but another strong contender was the aesthetics of my body. Looking the perfect way on the outside could only bring the best things into my life…right?
But… it was never enough. I still didn't feel ‘full’ or how I thought I would feel at the end of it. Even after achieving the best physical shape of my life in 2019. Yes, I got a few extra likes on my Instagram and a few comments at the pool but… it didn’t help me get the relationship (that I was in denial about wanting!) and the extra attention I received definitely wasn’t the right kind or what I was really looking for.
So if you're someone who can resonate, with either waiting for that relationship or the one throwing yourself into everything else to ‘find’ happiness…how do you actually discover ‘it’?
It's not that I wasn’t enjoying the Barry's classes or my run training. And neither do I regret them. I’m not saying that goals in the gym, a PB in a race or wanting that promotion or salary are pointless or bad things to want. But what I realise now looking back is… how much I was enjoying myself DURING those classes. It wasn't about the body I got at the end of it.
It's about appreciating and enjoying the journey WHILST you're walking it. Sorry about the cliche but it really is all about the journey! You don't have to wait for the destination before you can acknowledge or allow yourself to be happy.
For example, I've gained a lot of traction with this community recently and hitting follower milestones and other goals. This is obviously really exciting and getting me closer to my book dream and getting my message out there. But … I'm not waiting for that book deal. I'm LOVING this community right now and exactly where I am along the way. Yes, there's a bottle of Veuve in the cupboard ready to celebrate it when it happens but… life feels really good already!
Please let this be your permission slip to enjoy exactly where you are in your life now too. You have nothing to prove to anyone, not even yourself.
And this is also why it's so important to actually BE enjoying where you are right now…because if the ‘now’ and the ‘doing’ isn't feeling very fun, I can probably put money on the fact you won't feel much happier when you get to the end either. You have to be enjoying the journey along the way.
Find out what brings you joy day to day and then the weeks, months and years will look after themselves.