Does hustle = love and success?
For anyone who struggles to let go and believe it will happen for them without it.
After sharing my Paris move news last week, I encouraged you all to get brave and jump outside your comfort zones too. But this week I want to be a bit more real with you. To talk a bit more about the scary side. How I'm struggling to embrace the uncertainty of it all and how masculine me is desperately trying to cling back control. Because I know I'm not alone in wanting to push and force the things we want in life. And I want to share how you can stop whipping yourself forwards too.
Finishing up with my corporate job has triggered my high need for financial security. I was brought up in a house where if you’re not working and you’re not earning then 1 – you’re lazy and 2 – you’re basically going to die. So even though I have enough savings for Paris and I'll never be homeless here with my parents, not knowing where my next paycheck is coming from has been super unnerving.
I've been finding myself in survival mode. Anxiously attacking EVERY goal I've ever had for this community. During all the hours that exist in the day as well as the one's that don't! So that it will be ‘successful’. So that I’ll still be achieving and getting myself closer to the things I want. PLUS subconsciously trying to feel ‘enough’ without a job title or regular income. (But that’s another blog entirely!)
On the one hand I love my parents for this work ethic because it’s brought me to where I am today. But I find it so hard to enjoy the down time I know I'm entitled to enjoy. How there’s always something that I could be doing to be better or to be moving forwards. And no matter how logically I can see it, my successes in life or what anyone else says… my body still refuses to feel ‘safe’ and like I can stop.
Any of my girls stuck in their hustle era too then raise your hands! #youarenotalone
But what can either I or you do? How do you just stop worrying about money or your 'success' in life? How do you trust the career, the partner and the home will all work out for you unless you do ‘do’?!
Now I’m not saying staring at a vison board is going to get you there by itself either but… where the hell is the balance between the two?
Well, it was only last October when I told myself to fully trust and let go. And I DID manage to drop the ‘how’ and the bigger picture and enjoy the present and find my ‘flow’. It’s only been about 3 weeks of this horrible hustle mode and yes, I’ve got sh*t done. But sh*t happened in November and December too, but life felt far more free and fun!
So what was I doing then that I’m not doing now?
Regular journalling - Catching that inner critic for not doing as much as I think I should.
Movement - to release any anxiousness and subconscious fear. Whether that’s a quick dance in the morning or getting on the treadmill or yoga matt more.
Discipline - Things like getting to bed earlier. Starting my day earlier. Building trust in myself with the small things so I can start trusting myself to be enough for my bigger picture too.
Re- prioritisation - still ‘doing’ but getting realistic about what I can actually achieve as a human and push back on the things I just can’t.
Having more fun – doing things just because and not because it’s on the ‘to do’!
@thecompletioncoach has a fantastic podcast on hyper independence and how to use discipline in your self-care. How it creates all the results you want for your life in a way that still feels fabulous!! (Podcast: "And What Else" - “ Ep: ”Wy does Rest need discipline?")
I hope anyone who resonates with this survival mode, can be inspired to try at least one or two of the above with me this month. And please don't hesitate to email me and let me know how you go if you want.
Once you can surrender into your everyday then you'll find it easier to surrender into the bigger things you want for your life too.
Because if we don’t drop the hustle, when will we ever feel enough? If we don’t stop chasing the comfort of productivity and succeeding, when do we get to enjoy being at the ‘top’? Even when you GET the house or the husband or the 10k months…how will your body know it's safe to stop?
For example, 2 months in Paris is a huge pinch-me moment and I plan on savoring every second! I’m not letting my security blankets of survival and hustle mode ruin it.